What if I am invisible?
At a recent presentation, a student anonymously submitted the above question.
It breaks your heart to even think that a student feels this way. Where are their parents? Friends? Teachers? Grandparents? So many people could help this student.
Sadly, this is only one class… we are not doing our jobs as parents and care-givers.
But how do we help students that feel invisible?
The most important thing to do is let them talk. That’s it – let them vent how they feel without judgement or trying to help too soon. They need to be heard by adults. They must feel seen. Without this intervention, the student is likely to experience bouts of moodiness, possibly leading to depression. There are many more steps to helping them – but start by believing that what they are feeling is real, and unmanageable to them. Counseling may be in order. Of course, medical reasons must be ruled out, as well.
But what if you are the student that feels invisible?
Sadly, there are always people that will try to make us feel bad about who we are. We call them bullies, and they know JUST what to do to make you feel bad. The best way to combat a bully is by ignoring them. This isn’t always easy to do, but its the safest.
What you are feeling is a normal reaction to people’s continued ignoring of your feelings. Is it right? No, of course not. Sadly, many kids and adults don’t realize how their actions affect others. Or they do, and get some kind of kick out it. Either way, it’s resulted in your feeling like casper the ghost.
Being Casper isn’t fun. But if you think back to the cartoon, what was Casper always trying to do? He was trying to get noticed by others… but he was a ghost and friendly, so what he thought was going to happen rarely happened. Instead, he ended up scaring his intended friends by being TOO friendly. People aren’t always sure what to do when we are too friendly – unless its a true friend.
Start by finding a remarkable shirt – something that is funny, has a sports team your favorite band. Not everyone will like the same things as you – this is normal – but someone is bound to notice what you’re wearing and may say something friendly to you. It not, keep trying. its hard work to over come stereotypes.
If you have one or two friends, this may be a good starting place. They accept you for who you are. Create an agreement that none of you will let the other walk around alone during recess and lunch.
There are so so many other things to do, but if you have questions, please email me.
Good Luck to you!